I’m sure this is the question many of our new neighbors were asking each other last week. We moved to our new home just a few short months ago, and within a 24 hour period every beating heart in our house gave the new neighbors reason to question our sanity.
It all started Wednesday evening when Beth and I began to tackle our Japanese Beetle infestation that has been eating our garden entirely. We are using these awesome new traps that are working so well, that they are attracting every beetle with a 3 mile radius. Which is great! Except that our plastic bag trap had gotten to full for us to close as directed, so I got the great idea to put the entire trap into a plastic grocery bag, tie it off three more times than normal, just to be safe, and put it in the trash can. I even closed the trash can lid for good measure. Rub those hands together and get ready for dinner, because that was a job well done.
As we get going Thursday morning, we go about our standard pre-work/school morning routine. Beth leaves about 10 minutes before Carter and I do, which allows for a lot of great play time outside in the summer months. Usually bubble mowing, sweeping the sand, or pulling the wagon which is what Little Man decided to do on Thursday. Fantastic! I love the wagon, and the fact that he likes to pull it all by himself! He’s getting so big and I’m so proud! Before we leave, I check on the beetles and see no movement! They must be dead and mission accomplished! Let me open up this garbage lid and get on with my day. We head down the sidewalk, Carter in the lead, me right behind, and Karlee (our chocolate lab pup) meandering, off leash, through neighbors yards. As we get a couple of drives down, out BOLTS a new neighbor with her little Yorkshire Terrier. And I say bolt, because it seems like she came out of the house sprinting like Usain Bolt in the Olympics, but looking back I’m fairly certain she was at normal speed. Anyways, as they come bolting out, Karlee, can’t wait to get her paws on them. She charges, causing the neighbor lady to do some what of a standing curl up to protect herself while the dogs nip and bark at each other. As I see this unfolding I have to think quick on my feet to remedy the situation. I quickly developed steps to complete to succeed in my mission.
Step 1 (in thought) – Get Carter and wagon turned around heading back towards our house so he stays out of the way of dog/neighbor lady and doesn’t get hit by cars in the street.
Step 1 (in action) – pick up wagon and turn around. Great. Pick Carter up and turn around. Hang on, he’s not ready to turn around…come on bud we gotta turn around, uh oh, he’s screaming bloody murder because he doesn’t want to turn around. (Again 645in the morning!). Wait, he’s laying on the sidewalk, flailing and screaming. Alright, I have to move to step two, I’ll be back for you Little Man.
Step 2 (in thought) – get the dog by the collar, pull away and get her headed back towards our house.
Step 2 (in action) – grab the dog, pulled her away, say sorry to neighbor lady, and get Karlee headed the right direction. Success!
Now back to Carter. Pick him up and hold him in my left arm, still crying, and begin walking back towards the house while pulling the wagon in my right hand. We are on our way to success! Wait where’s Karlee? (Call for Karlee) Turn around and she is shi***g in neighbor lady’s yard!
Everybody back in the house and we won’t be going back outside for the next 3 years! After cleaning up the Karlee mess, I think “What a morning! How can the day get any more eventful?”
Which leads me back to my beautiful bride, and our beetle friends. At the end of the work day, Beth picks up Carter and gets home about an hour before I do. So while at work I receive a text “babe! They escaped the garbage!” As Beth pulled into the garage she sees hundreds of Japanese Beetles (that were supposed to be dead) swarming the garage! I asked if she closed the trash can lid? She hadn’t yet as she had been sitting in the car with Carter for a few minutes trying to figure out what her plan of attack was.
A few minutes goes by and I get the confirmation text from Beth, “I did it”. She had closed the lid on the trash can and drug it out into the driveway. I congratulate her on a job well done! To which she replies that one had flown down her shirt! As I’m crying laughing reading her message, I ask if she did her “skeeter dance” which is the dance we taught Carter to keep the misquitos away, to which she replied…”Nope. I lifted up my shirt so dang fast, hopefully the neighbors missed it.”
That’s us! Crying, laughing, poop and boobies, all wrapped up into one 24 hour period. You’re welcome neighbors.
#HiWe’reTheCresses #ThereGoesTheNeighborhood
-Brian
A Dad’s Compass 